The Funniest 25 things

Alright. If you have a facebook account you’ve probably ran across the “25 things about me” notes. This shit is out of control. I rolled into the computer lab today for class and this girl was upset because her class had ended and she had to email her 25 things to herself because she hadn’t finished writing them…pathetic.

Sitting in class obviously not doing anything my friend showed me these 25 things his friend wrote. Quality stuff. Peep numbers 4,5,9, and 22.

1. My name is Sam Thomas
2. My favorite color is blue
3. Growing up in Indiana was boring, it was until my family decided to stop being omish until things started to get a little more… electrifying
4. My family has left me at a gas station on 3 separate family vacations, it wasn’t until I started threatening to call the cops until they stopped leaving me and started hitting me.
5. I have a sleeping disorder. I have to wake up by myself, if anyone wakes me up I blackout and kill them.
6. I was a horrible ding dong ditching partner. One time I DDD’d a house as my friends hid. This guy immediately opened the door and started chasing me, he got too close to catching me so I yelled that my friend was hiding under the car.
7. If I was ever tardy for a class in High School I came in limping, worked every time on the subs.
8. I tried buying booze once and the guy laughed at me and shook his head without saying a word. I slowly walked to the back of the store, put it away, and then grabbed one of those huge RedBulls. Nice.
9. When I was 11 years old I complained to my mom that I had too many freckles. She said they were angel kisses: First boner.
10. How do you get squirtle, charmander, and a bulbasour on top of a buss? You Poke ‘em On …POKEMON
11. I tried to call my friend once but got the number wrong. The grumpy/rude lady on the other line demanded to know who it was. I replied, “your son… I’m ready to come home.” It worked too well… she screamed/cryed and whispered, “come…come home”
12. Is the number that rhymes with Stelve. If you remove the “l” then you know my Dads name.
13. Is the number that rhymes with Eirtelybean. If you remove the “y” then you know my Moms name.
14. Is the number of corn seeds Steve could fit into his mouth. Such a hairy, happy little guy. Always trying to escape his cage and such (stupid idiot, I had Harry Potter Goblet of Fire on top of his cage, no way) RIP.
15. Number 14 wasn’t about my Dad, My hamster’s name was Steve also.
16. 16/male/cali – tan and strong is how i describe myself to 13 year old girls in chat rooms
17. My oldest brother told me at a mall to pull the Easter Bunny’s hand during a photoshoot when I was young. I did so and found a black human hand. I was such a mess after that.
18. Was how old I was when I got my license. No rush I had a red moped. The ladies like always wanted a ride, I was like… shut up.
19. Is the number of tootsie roll suckers my grandma sent me for Valentines Day. (Keep ‘em coming g-ma and ill let it slide when you call me, Matt, Zach or Steve when you call our damn house) haha Im jk I love you grandma, and If somehow you got your hands on this then I’m jk about everything on here and tootsie roll suckers are my favorite
20. I can’t pee and poop at the same time. If I have to do both in one sitting I pee first then poop, cant help it. I think thats the order… and this is normal so shutup.
21. If I had to hook up with one guy. If I HAD too… it would be Justin Timberlake. Wait, no, Brad Pitt with all the armor and hair of when he was in the movie of Troy. He would have to be all angry/sweaty/bloody tho!! – what i just said was so ridiculous, im sorry.
22. If I had to hookup with one Ladyyy it would be that boy on realworld.
23. It’s poop then pee, my mistake. Just checked.
24. Is the number of minutes it takes “bigger” kids to run a mile.
25. One time one of my friends was so dumb he stole a free cookie.

Good shit.

- Jonny D