Poor choice of words

I was in Walgreens with TheGirlfriend and at the check out I noticed a book about the late Tim Russert.

Heartily? Really? This guy died of a heart attack. There are thousands of different words you could use but you decide on Heartily?

clown shoes….

Now I know the definition of heartily but come on people. If I die and my friends write a book about me I don’t want it to have some effed up title.

If I suffocate don’t call it “Jonny D, A breath of fresh air”

Crushed to death don’t call it “Jonny D, Cool under pressure”

Fall off a cliff.. “Jonny D, We fell for you”

Decapitation…”Jonny D, Ahead of the game…”

You get the picture. Lets use our heads before we come up with titles.

- Jonny D

What the hell did I ever do to you?

Alright party people. Your boy Jonny D is not happy. Someone jacked my moccasins. Yeah I wear moccasins. They are comfortable and keep my feet warm. Get off me…moving on.

Someone thought it would be cool to just walk off with my footwear while I was at practice. My bag was laying among everyone elses. there were phones, shoes, mp3 players, and probably some ugg boots around somewhere and you gotta snatch my $12 slippers? I hope you’re happy asshole because I’m not.  Not to mention I had to walk around in the snow with my cleats on because I got locked out my house and had to climb through the window looking extra suspicious. Why was I locked out of my house? I went home instead of lifting with the roommates because all I had was cleats who I rode with. Guess who didn’t bring his keys….that’s right..and the back door was locked. Losing. I blame the doucher who took my moccasins.

In other news my boy Ollie over at The Bama sent me some of his stickers to street team for him and only he would put the return address “Nitty Gritty Vice City” on the envelope.

Hilarious.

- Jonny D

Facebook is serious

How many times have you been pissed at someone because of something on their Facebook? How about saying something like “It has to be true. it’s on facebook.”? I personally changed my birthday on the book for over a year. I had a birthday every month and people would blindly wish me a happy birthday. If it’s on Facebook people will believe its true.

This dude took it one step too far.

Yeah you read that right. He killed his wife because she put that she was single on her Facebook. That little heart popped up and he went postal.  I imagine it went something like this.

Dude just lost his mind.

You think when he tried to confirm her in his relationship one of those security checks came up? Probably looked like this..

(yeah that’s a reach captcha I encountered)

The article says they were separated so he had to know this was coming. What is the world coming to when people have to get served their divorce papers via news feed? Sad… just sad.

I wonder how our friend Cody is doing….. probably still crushed.

Shout out to DasllasPenn.com for the link to the story.

- Jonny D

I survived the Bush administration

Hell yeah I did…

Print Liberation

- Jonny D

Just another Saturday

The Hockey Game

So last night my friend has a few extra tickets to a minor league hockey game so me and a few others decide to take advantage of the situation. TheGirlfriend was at a Pure Romance party so it was Dudes Night Out. Did you know they have vibrators that cost $105? Makes me glad I’m a guy who doesn’t need a NASA designed and approved device to get mine…I digress…

The night is going pretty well. Hit up the bar in the arena for a drink or 2 before the game and find out seats. The game is alright for it being the AHL. We’re talking, laughing, being 4 college guys at a hockey game. Then in the middle of the 3rd period as my friend was telling me about the Super Bowl bet he put down,  this old guy sitting in the row in front of us turns around. I figured he was going to ask about the game, the bet, or something related to our conversation. Wrong. This dude had the nerve to tell us we were being “very rude” for talking so much….

Yeah, I know coach. I had that exact look on my face. Speechless. My friend who was talking couldn’t believe it either. Needless to say this sparked even more talking and the occasional “Hey everyone shut up you’re talking to much!” and other sarcastic ass comments whenever someone would cheer or “Shout” was played. There was also the “If you don’t like us talking call security. We’ll see how that goes.” (See my friend who got us the tickets works security at the arena so he knew pretty much everyone working that night. There was no way we were getting removed. winning.)

So I’m throwing out a big Eff You to this doucher (you know I took a picture of him).

You’re at a minor league hockey game up in the nose bleeds! This isn’t the NHL, you’re not sitting rink side at the Stanley Cup finals. Get off your high horse. Moving on.

The Dirtiest

We didn’t let this dude ruin our evening. I had planned on going back home after the game but it was my boy Danger’s birthday so we met up with him and his crew at the dirtiest bar they could find. I felt like I needed a full set of vaccinations just to go into that place…and the cure for aids.  Royal, TheYev, and El Capitan were there so you know someone was going to  be the drunkest and we were going to boogie.

This place is famous for their drink called the ” Hairy Buffalo”. Check it.

These things are half liquor, half whatever else they mix it with. They will knock you on your ass if drank at a normal pace. These clowns decided to have a race. There were 4 teams of 2 goin at it trying to be the first to finish. Now my boys Escobar Luango and Roger Dorsey were on the same team. Roger can shotgun a beer in 2 seconds flat. no lie, its been timed so needless to say we all know who won. This thing was gone in 20 seconds or less. The waitress just stood there shocked. She was thoroughly impressed.

This guy was watching the contest and decides to come over to us. He approaches Roger and says something to the effect “So you can drink fast but how fast are your hands?”. I immediately backed up not knowing what was about to go down. This guy pulls out a quarter and says he can snatch it out of Rogers hand before it closes. It was game on. Roger stood with his hand open, quarter dead center of his palm. The instructions were close your hand as soon as the other guys hand starts to move.

Wasn’t even a contest. This guy has the fastest hands I have ever seen. Just snatched that shit away immediately. Dude has made so much money off bar bets doin this. Check out the shitty video I took.

Apparently he used to be a boxer. Insane.

Moving on.

The Boogie

From the dirtiest of the dirtys we moved on to our regular bar where we frequently get shoutouts from the DJ, get the drunkest, and boogie the hardest.

It was Saturday which meant it was packed, cover, expensive drinks, the usual. I was going to have to leave in about 30 minutes and I didn’t want to pay cover to only be there a half hour so I decided I just wasn’t going to pay. The group in line ahead of me apparently knew a waitress and she came out and told the bouncer that they didn’t have to pay. See, you walk in and have to pay the cover at a register just inside the door. The leader of this group goes up to the girl at the register and starts to point to his group that doesn’t have to pay. I weasle my way right into the middle of them, throw the girl at the cash register a wink, pull out my phone like I’m talking to someone then just walk away. Winning.

The downstairs to this bar is a piano bar and upstairs is more of a dancing club scene. You know we like to boogie so we headed upstairs. El Captian decides he wants to get up on a chair and boogie. Who am I to stop him? He gets up and starts dancing. This old broad, someones mom, comes up and starts to join in. He pretty much put his crotch right in this ladies face and she was pickin up what he was layin down. Really into it.  Bouncer definitely came over and told him to quit standing on shit. Needless to say he did it again downstairs….almost got kicked out. Priceless.

Royal and I are standing there noticing a couple things. First we notice Billie Jean has just started playing then we notice it’s mostly females of the Caucasian persuasion on the dance floor AKA white women.

I turn to him and say “What are the odds that we can get the entire floor doing the electric slide?”

We took it to the floor…and it worked. Got everyone on the dance floor doing the electric slide with us. Priceless. This goes to show that if 2 black guys are doing the same dance then everyone in the place will stop, watch it for a second, learn it, then join in. I’m bout to come up with the wackest shit possible then hit the club and see what happens…or ill just crank that soulja boy.

Lets review

1. Don’t be the doucher at a hockey game.

2. Boxers win bar bets anytime.

3. Men stay winning for not needing that arm from the terminator to get them off.

4. Jonny D and Royal love to boogie.

5. Soulja Boy still sucks.

- Jonny D

Things people should never see…

Saw this over at H8torade and thought I should share it as well.

If you’re wondering I did watch the entire thing and definitely regret it…

What would make someone think recording this and putting it on the Tube was a good idea? Losing.

Don’t worry I’ll leave this post on a high note

Excellent.

- Jonny D

The New Look

What’s up people. Thought I’d take some time to thank my loyal readers. The site is growing and there are going to be some big things happening soon. You may have noticed the new look here at Get Back To Work. I’m toying around with some new things. Maybe a front page and a new logo. Don’t forget you can add us on Myspace or Facebook. It’s 09 and it’s time for change.

- Jonny D

Why….

Question: What is the most ridiculous thing Jonny D has seen a man wearing in class?

Answer: These

Angle 1

Angle 2

Big ass rubbery yellow boots. Dude is running around like he’s looking for Curious George with all that yellow.

You’re in class not on a crab fishing boat. This isn’t deadliest catch.

Man card revoked

- Jonny D

Since57.com

You know your boy is a die hard Detroit Lions fan and as sad as that may be some hilarity came out of this season. Mainly since57.com.

These cats got fed up with losing time with failing team so they decided they should at least make a little green off the Lions failure.  Here’s their story pulled right off the website.

The idea was bred from the thrashing we received playing on Thanksgiving against Indianapolis (The one with Peyton lighting us up for at least 5 TD’s). During dinner that evening we wanted to come up with something that was in response to the years of being the worst team in football. The idea was created after someone at

the table said “We’ll we have been rebuilding since the last time they won the title” and the idea was shortened to the tag line that we use to this day, “Rebuilding Since 57″.

After that dinner in 2005 we decided to make up some T-shirts and head down to the next home game and see if there was any interest in a sarcastic t-shirt smartly bashing the one constant sports disappointment in Detroit. The response was soo great at the game that we created www.since57.com and started selling shirts online. We also sent out our creation to local reporters, journalist, dj’s, etc. Rebuilding Since 57 really took off when we hit the sports section of the Detroit Free Press. The demand for the T-shirts has had us create new shirts each year since then, even creating a 50 year anniversary t-shirt in response to the lack of winning anything during that time. This year we have created a limited edition T-shirt in response to our inept team winning all four pre-season games. We were convinced it would of unfortunately been the only 4 game winning streak and we had no idea it would lead to Zero and XVI. So sit back, buy a shirt for yourself, and pray the Ford family does the right thing.

Hilarious. In our hard economic times these guys decided to take some initiative and make some money. They aren’t too expensive. I recommend these for any Lions fan.  Check out their designs.

Classic

Preseason champs….at least they won something…

Take it away T-baby

So cold indeed…

- Jonny D

Live together, Die alone

LOST comes back in less than 24 hours. Thought it would be appropriate to throw the countdown up on the blog one more time.

Going to lose my mind when that thing hits 0

-Jonny D