Reason I love the internet #43,254: stupid sorority girls

Oh man. This is an instant classic. Apparently this sorority girl from Oklahoma wanted to impress the sisters of Alpha Chi and spray the fire extinguisher in the hallway to make it look like it snowed. I guess her dad did it when she was little and she thought she could recreate her childhood memory.

Good idea, bad execution. Poor Elyse filled the hall with chemicals, woke up everyone….DURING FINALS WEEK.

probably going to transfer schools after everyone on the internets has seen this video. She’s in this car crying after the whole ordeal. Thank god someone had the good sense to record her. Check it.

You can hear her friend trying not to fall over laughing. She repeats to herself “it’s not funny, its not funny…”

Bitch yes it is!I only wish the camera had been rolling when it went down. Probably went something like this.

Got this picture off of her Facebook group.

Way to go elyse. One semester into college and you’re a Youtube sensation.

Here’s my favorite picture from the group.

Ha. Losing

———————— UPDATE——————————

So I did some more research on the subject and found out that Elyse is a Jounralism and Mass Communications major.

HA. I’m sure she’ll be proud to put “Star of the ‘i just wanted to make it snow’ Youtube video” on her resume. Priceless. She communicated alright. Lost her mind worst than the Hindenburg crash guy (Herbert Morrison).

Good Luck with the rest of your life Elyse….

- Jonny D

It’s so cold in the D

Ha. Well they did it. Congrats Lions on being the worst team ever.
Saw this picture over at H8torade.

Take it away T-Baby

Hilarious.

- Jonny D

4 8 15 16 23 42

If you don’t know…you better ask somebody

- Jonny D

Why did I ever quit little league?

Since I refuse to watch Friday Night Lights the television show since I hated the movie so much (yeah that’s right I hated it) and Texas High school football is out of control,  I have never had the pleasure of seeing Minka Kelly. My buddy Danger decided to clue me in on this budding young actress (ok maybe not so young, she’s 28 but is too fly for being that old). Anyway, after clicking around the internets doing some investigation I find out that she is allegedly dating the one and only Derek Jeter.

So thas what $21 million a year will get you…

Winning

here’s a couple more…

My Team….

- Jonny D

Slaps for the Holidays

Just watch…

That dude got slapped like a little bitch. You know exactly what Smokey would say if he was there…

That dude didn’t even cock back to hit him. Just raw power.

I love how he rolls him over on his left side to make sure he doesn’t die then just breaks out. Not sticking around to explain to the cops that he bitch slapped that dude into next Tuesday. Would love to see the police report on this one.

“The suspect and the victim men were involved in verbal altercation when the suspect decided he had enough lip from the victim and slapped the shit out of him. Victim suffered severe head trauma, hematoma of the left cheek, and his man card was taken. Suspect is still at large.”

Man I had to watch this at least 10 times in a row.

Too funny. Heres a few more for good measure.

Dude just rolls up on her and does work. Foreigners are crazy.

Slapping contest? Heres a little tip…don’t challenge someone who is bigger than you. You will lose everytime.

Daaaaaamn..you know after those cameras were off she beat the shit out of that kid. How you gonna just slap your mom across the face on national television? WPDT….

- Jonny D

Gag gifts: Not that funny…

Christmas time…family, friends,snow, fruit cake. You know, the usual.

This is a time for giving, being kind to our fellow man, and giving thanks for our many blessings. It is also a time to let our loved ones know just how special they are to us and how much they mean to us by giving gifts and spending time with each other. Apparently it is also a time to give subtle hints to your boyfriend about wanting to have kids. Check out what a friend of mine got from his girlfriend this Christmas….

Baby clothes and a copy of Big Daddy? You must be joking…

I could only give him this advice…

RUN

Even if this is a gag gift it isn’t funny. You can’t be joking around like that. I’ve never been so scared for a friend in my life. Better start slipping her THE pill. Crush it up in some applesauce or something.

Don’t want to end up like this guy…

Quit smiling. You and I both know you’re not happy.

- Jonny D

Mug Shots: Hilarious

Clicking around the internets you can find many things. I got bored tonight and decided to see what was poppin over at The Smoking Gun.

For those of you who don’t know the smoking gun is a website that posts criminal records, mugshots, etc. Anything crazy that went down and the cops got called gets thrown up on this site. Check it out when you get the chance. Anyway, I was clicking around TSG and ran across their 20 best mugshots of the year.

Here are some of my favorites.

Have you forgotten you have to actually go out in public?

Seriously? What could she have possibly done to get arrested? Slow day in whatever county that was.

Black people everywhere just got set back. This dude was arrested for chasing people down the street wearing a cow costume.

“Well it must have been halloween”

Nope, september 30th…you figure that one out.

God dammit…..

- Jonny D

Craigslist: Not just for your useless crap

hello again ladies and gentlemen.  I got bored today so I started clicking around the internets and found myself at craigslist. My latest Craigslist adventure isn’t going so hot so I thought i’d look for some other stuff to trade for. For some reason the personals caught my eye and I noticed that there is a “Strictly Platonic” section.

I had to check it out.

There were some lonely housewives that just needed another woman to keep them company during the day, the occasional guy seeking guy to just Bro Out, and, my personal favorite, The 420 friend.

This dude came on the internets to find someone to smoke with. Seriously? You can’t find one person you talk to that will smoke with you? What is this world coming to.

Here’s the actual posting

“Hi, i’m looking for a 420 buddy. Just someone who’s laid back and isn’t into all that drama. I know this is the same type of stuff everyone else is saying, but I’m sick of spending my recreational time alone. If your interested give me a shout. Yes I have pictures not like it matters. If you have any go ahead and feel free to send them.”

Sad day when a guy can’t even blaze with the dude he buys from….

I clicked around further and found this one. This dude claims he’s not gay, and theres nothing sexual about what he wants…ill let you decide.

“St8 male seeks willing str8 guy to fulfil fetish. Not seeking sex. Love masculine scent. Especially high pheremone areas of crotch, butt & pits. Also enjoy male foot odor. NO DESIRE to kiss/bang/etc other dudes. You can stay fully clothed. Prefer no less than undies. Not interested in Gay sex.
Prefer females except for scent issues. Hard to find men who understand your not gay, just want to smell them. Open to straight men 20-60 who are clean, well groomed and okay looking. Height/weight proportionate best, but plumper guys ok as long as not hugely obese. Open to JO if necessary, but will barter massage, drinks, dinner or something else if your willing to share your scent with me. Vry troublesome finding what I seek without being misunderstood. Wild chance that maybe some descent, nice guy might see this and ok trying something new. Tried gay men, but they want to take things further than I’m willing. Need st8 guy that will not be seeking more than this. If your a guy that could be comfortable getting sniffed I’d love to meet you. Hoping 2 find one guy this would not be to weird 4. Thanks”

I’ll let you read over that one more time in case you didn’t catch it all or need to re-read it…

Got it?

I showed this to my boy Coach Pete Carroll…

I know coach…I know…

What is with these people? I almost feel bad for them.

I’m glad there’s a place like the internets for crazy people to ask for weird shit. How’d this used to go down? People just sit in parks late at night try to flag people down to smell their taint?

Clown shoes…

So we’ve discussed the Pot heads looking for smoking buddies and the weird fetish freaks…but how bout this next one. THe people who are just lookin for some ass.

Some people just want to get some strange and feel the easiest, most efficient way is broadcasting that fact on the internet. We all gotta do the horizontal mambo and these people just don’t want to deal with bars, dating, or social interaction of any kind. Sure they run the risk of getting murdered and skinned , but hey…they know what they are getting into.

The title of this post was “Lets make this sunday a special one…”

Here’s what it read:

“Come to Grand rapids spend a few hours with a wonderful sexy Indian ts…Who knows this could turn into something special.”

Now…if this wasn’t obvious enough she posted a few pictures.

Here’s another.

This girl hit us with the myspace angles. (Seriously check that link out)

Even Seth can tell what she wants..

Lets Review

1. Craigslist isn’t just for selling stuff you dont need anymore. Its also for getting some strange.

2. The internets attracts all kinds of freaks.

3. Girls love the myspace angles. Beware.

- Jonny D

The Internets

So by now you have to have seen the video of our good friend W getting a shoe thrown at him. If not check it out below.

Of course this video was on the internets minutes after it happened. You know people love to edit, remake, parody, and remix anything that happens. This fiasco is no different. Check out all these.

WoW style

Pokemon

And probably my personal favorite.

Hilarious.

- Jonny D

True Life is the best show on television

Ok, so I know the title is a bold face lie. If you know anything about Jonny D you know he firmly believes that LOST is the greatest show on television. But I needed a title and that came to mind. Moving on.

Its currently 2 am and I am awake because

1. Don’t have anything to do tomorrow

2. I went comatose late in the afternoon and can’t sleep.

Apparently the only thing on tv at 2 am is terrible infomercials for hair care products, shitty re-runs of CSI: Miami, and a True Life marathon.

I chose True Life

MTV has gone down hill considerably seeing as it is called MUSIC television and now all they show is 2 minutes of a music video at 6:30 in the morning then the rest is shitty dating shows and “reality” tv (the hills isn’t real. Get over it).

True Life is the saving grace of the network. It is actually interesting, gives a real look into peoples lives, and it doesn’t always end with some quasi-celebrity finding “Love”.

Shit, watching true life makes me feel better about my own life.

These people have some serious problems and they let a camera crew follow them around and film it all. MTV hit television gold in 1998 when they came up with these hour long documentaries on people’s lives.

My favorite episode is definitely True Life: I’m getting breast implants (They showed boobs. I was 14.  Awesome.)

The one I’m watching now is True Life: I’m living off the grid.

These cats leave everything modern behind, pack only earth colored clothing along with a knife and any animal pelts they own, then hit the woods for a year. That’s right, A YEAR.

They spend a year washing in lakes with sand (no soap because it has chemicals) and drinking straight out of the river.

Check this video

This dude collected a shit load of clams and ate them all then got bitched at by the head hippy for not respecting the elder clams. Along with clams they are eating raw meat, nuts, and berrys.

Wild

The adventurers got to go back to the main cabin once to use their phones and check the internets. You know what the first thing this mountain man did? Check his facebook. Even the greenest of the green can’t go a couple months without knowing who sent him a bumper sticker.

Hilarious

They have had so many True Life episodes they are running out of Ideas.

I wonder what new shocking episodes they will come up with next?

True Life: I actually bought souja boy’s album

True Life: I don’t have a facebook

True Life: I actually watch other shows on MTV

I’d be shocked at the last one…

Lets review

1. MTV only has 1 good show

2. Watch True Life. It will make you feel better about yourself

3. Soulja Boy still sucks.

- Jonny D